Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
