Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Couch. On fire.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
