Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
