can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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