I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
