i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
