Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My liver is preforming stress tests.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
