Don't make out with my wife yet
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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