I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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