Can Purell be used as lube?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
