Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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