Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
