Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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