we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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