Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize