i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I believe in your delicious
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
