Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
