I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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