I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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