Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
