He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
