Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
