so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
