I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you traded sex for a burrito?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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