Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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