i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
