Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
