and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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