Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just found a bag of teeth...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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