talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
