Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
