I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
