So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
