i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
