I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
