youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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