why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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