im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
