So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize