all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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