the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
