he puts the penis in happiness.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
