Quick, to the slutcave!
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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