Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
