She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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