here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
