You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize