so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
