plz talk dirty to me
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
