wanna go halves on a baby?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
