I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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