Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize