I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
