I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
