So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
