What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
