I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
