you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
