Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
