I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize