he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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