I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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