Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
