He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I think a kid would responsible me up
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Randomize
