if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize