I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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