Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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