Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
