Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
