someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
