Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
