did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize