If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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